Happy Valentine’s from Andy Borowitz

February 14, 2013
Choking Back Tears, N.R.A. Leader Marries Gun
Posted by Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what he called “the happiest day of my life,” National Rifle Association C.E.O. Wayne LaPierre marked Valentine’s Day by marrying his longtime gun, an AK-47 assault rifle.

Mr. LaPierre grew emotional as he reminisced about meeting the firearm at a gun show in Alabama in 1991.

“The chemistry between us was amazing,” he said. “Our first weekend together, all we did was shoot.”

Marriage between a human and a gun is not legal in most states, a situation that Mr. LaPierre bemoans: “For a lot of N.R.A. members it’s the only intimate relationship they’re capable of.”

The wedding ceremony was attended by twenty-five of Mr. LaPierre’s guns and over two hundred members of Congress.

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Photograph by Chip Somodevilla/Getty.

Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/02/nra-leader-marries-gun.html#ixzz2KuqpRz6t

(NB: I start each morning with an email of Borowitz humor. It works for me. Check him out.)

9 thoughts on “Happy Valentine’s from Andy Borowitz

  1. Dennis Lang says:

    Terrific! And heck, I’ve been a subscriber forever and somehow never knew I could get Borowitz daily in my inbox. Yes, I believe he’s needed here at the estate with “Mike and Mike in the Morning” courtesy of ESPN.

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

  2. I’d marry a Glock .40 but I can’t find one locally. thousands are ordered —- few are available. The gun industry ought to thank liberals for this whole gun debate. You couldn’t have bought all this publicity with the entire Federal Reserve’s portfolio. Debate about gun control always fuels the industry and increases sales.

    1. Jim Leinfelder says:

      Liberals did that, ya’ reckon?

      Hey, while I have you, Mike, hurling training will be getting underway again in April. You are more than welcome to borrow a hurley from me until you decide it’s going to work for you and pay the dues. You get five practices before we come at you palm up.

    2. PM says:

      Yes, I think that concern about supply (fueled by inflammatory reporting) causes a run, a panic. Glen Beck has done the same in the past for sales of gold……And conservative deficit hawks have been trying for years to sell us all on the dangers of inflation.

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