Bagged

THIS POST HACKED.

– The Mgmt.

 

About William Souder

I was born in a trailer park on South Lyndale Avenue a long time ago, but grew up in Florida, then lived all over before finally marrying a girl from St. Paul without reading the fine print about how that makes you a Minnesotan forever. So here I am. What can I say about myself? I was in the Navy. I am an excellent fly fisherman. I can almost certainly swim faster than you, and I own a bicycle that cost ten times as much as my first car...a Triumph Herald that needed oil every other day but which looked sporty with the top down. I am a writer. I went to journalism school and know how to ask questions and still believe that reporting is a high calling. My career has been an unconventional one. I've worked in the alternative press (with the esteemed Brian Lambert, among others) and in the dreaded mainstream media. I wrote about film for six years and a few people around here still remember me for that. I was a regular feature stringer for the Washington Post for more than a decade. I've interviewed politicians, CEOs, movie stars, athletes, casino executives, other writers, musicians, scientists, and one Playmate of the Month. I have a keen interest in, and am surprisingly knowledgeable about, molecular biology. I'm the author of two books, "A Plague of Frogs" and "Under a Wild Sky." I am currently at work on a new book, this one about Rachel Carson, who, if you're under forty, you will probably have to Google. My wife and I have four children, two in college and two in high school. We live in a remote corner of a remote neighborhood not too far from White Bear Lake, in an area where hay is still cut across the street from us and it gets truly dark at night and sometimes, when the wind is from the west, I can hear cattle mooing. From my home office window I can see five barns and, on a clear day, downtown Minneapolis. It's all good, actually.

13 responses to “Bagged

  1. Dennis Lang

    Heck, I’m not a fan of cycling in particular but this is depressing–and I was feeling a mild euphoria over the return of Randy Moss. So, what do you think, given the chance to cheat and improve ourselves is there something in our nature that will enable us to morally justify it? Survival of the fittest afterall. Or our we just beyond morality?

    • PM

      Randy Moss? Euphoria? What kind of doping are you doing? ;-)

      • Dennis Lang

        Ah… Thanks for asking PM. It is a “designer” blend formulated by my personal chemist. I felt I needed something to head off the inevitable feeling of impending doom over this Yankee series. The good Doctor Stroboscopolis–a notorious 60’s surviver–never fails me.

    • Dennis Lang

      What? “Or ‘our’ we just beyond morality?” What kind of a sentence is that? Doesn’t this thing have an “edit” device of some sort to avoid the humiliation of bad grammar and sloppy spelling? Sorry, and no doubt a comment read and puzzled over by millions.

  2. Ellen Mrja

    Hello, gentlemen. I believe our first – and last – mistake is ever looking to an athlete as an expression of “hero.”

    • Dennis Lang

      Seriously, You don’t think there are elements of heroism intrinsic in sport? Or is heroism necessarily conflated with morality, and if it is who are we to pass judgement on the promiscuity and infidelity of Tiger Woods?

  3. Newt

    Why don’t they have two competitions – one for dopers and one for clean athletes?

  4. To be clear…I don’t really see what is wrong with the current system, other than a need for harsher punishments, basically approaching zero tolerance, that would incentivize the competitors and their sponsors to stay squeaky clean. For cycling, I’d suggest something along the lines of this:

    1. For a first offense, a five-year suspension for the rider AND his team.

    2. For a second offense, permanent suspension for the rider AND his team.

  5. I’d be okay with that. The rules are crystal clear. Cheaters know they’re cheating.

  6. Dear Mr. Souder: Your infatuation with elitist European “sports” such as bicycle riding is well known, and like you I am shocked … stunned and appalled … that these gentlemen have been taking illegal drugs. Previously I thought their worst crime was against common sense fashion — I mean, good lord, those Spandex pants and all those decals.

    Anyway, might I suggest you turn your hero-worshipping gaze away from vaguely fey Euro-whippets and try embracing things more full-throatedly American, like slaughtering birds and deer with finely-tooled, upscale firearms, while wearing a couple thousand dollars worth of Orvis gear?

    • Sorry, but I only use Italian shotguns and the very best in British, oil-cloth hunting apparel, while my dogs, like my after-the-hunt libations, come strictly from the Scottish highlands.

      But I am happy to move on from cycling. Let’s talk soccer.

      • Mike Kennedy

        Care to comment on the choices for the World Cup?

        http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/9252469.stm

        FIFA seems as politically corrupt, dopey and oblivious as the IOC.

        Not that I care because I’m not a soccer fan — at least 5 other sports rank higher on my list –maybe more. But guaranteeing sales of more than 5 million tickets and they pass that up in favor of a place where it cooks up to 130 degrees?

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